top five friday {3.7.14}

soooo...it's been a while since i've done a top five friday. partly because life is busy. and partly because i've thought that i really don't have much to share. then i decided that last sentence was stupid, because dang. i have a freaking awesome life and i guarantee that there are always five things in a week that can be celebrated. so, i'm hoping to keep this up again. after all, it used to be my favorite post of the week on this ol' blog, so maybe it'll give me something to look forward to! anyway. let's begin.

1 - planners. i've sucked at using a planner my entire life. my entire life. my freshman year in college, my friend gave me a planner for my birthday {because she knew how much i needed it. i'm the most disorganized/forgetful person ever.} and i was super pumped to use it and after about a good solid week, i stopped using it. cold turkey. i've just never been good at writing things down. that was until i bought a new planner last month. i think my problem with planners is that i usually get the week by week ones, so the amount of space to write down my to-do list for the day is no bigger than the size of my thumb. granted, i do have big thumbs {stupid man hands}, but it still just didn't cut it for me. this new planner is a day by day one and i literally have a whole page to write on! it's awesome. since acquiring this planner, my house has never been cleaner, i've never had so many posts written on my food blog and i've never worked out more in a week. it has made me so productive! i'm the type of person that needs a goal to work towards and attain, so being able to cross something off my to-do list every day makes me feel so accomplished. even if sometimes i do something and then write it down, just so i can cross it off. it still feels awesome. my goal is to cross off everything i've written down by the end of the day. i still have yet to do that.

2 - painted toenails. and sunshine. going along with number 1, because the house was clean one day this week and i had already worked out and such, i put addi down and found that i didn't have a whole lot to do. i have had "paint your toenails" on my to-do list for 3 weeks now {it always seems to be one of the things i can never get crossed off} because i have had the same smidgen of toenail polish on my feet since i painted both mine and addi's toes before halloween. don't judge. anyway, i sat down and painted those babies and as i laid on the bed, waiting for them to dry, i was seriously overcome with what a gorgeous day it was and how good life can be. yeah. i get giddy over lame things. but to me, they're awesomely lame things!

3 - date night. i've always loved going on dates with zach, but since we have had addi, it hasn't been as much of a priority. not because we don't want to go out by ourselves, but because leaving your kid with a babysitter is stressful. if i'm not worrying about whether or not she will be okay without me, i'm worrying about the person babysitting her and imagining addi screaming her head off the whole time and not wanting to take a bottle or nap. it's hard for me to let go of. luckily, we have some really great friends here that have helped us out though and have put us at ease. i don't think people realize how freaking lucky they are to have family living close by. some days, i'd give anything for it! i'm so grateful for friends that can be like family to us. anyway, we have tried to make it a point to go out every thursday now. last night we went to a local place called 'the chocolate cafe'. umm, is there any possible way a date could go wrong at a place with the word 'chocolate' in it? no. the answer is no. not to mention, they had the best bread pudding i have ever had in my entire life and i don't even like bread pudding. 'nuff said. i love being able to get away and share a few hours with my main squeeze!

4 - adelaide is officially eating solids. willingly! i know. i never thought i'd see the day either.

i tried so hard when she hit six months and she refused. it actually made me kind of sad to be honest. i wanted to try some baby-led weaning, where she could basically just eat table food from the get-go, but after a few episodes of dry heaving and full on puking, i decided that maybe that wasn't such a good idea. i think she doesn't know what to do with a chunk of food on her tongue, so it triggers her gag reflex. so, purees it is. but at least it's a start! if anybody has some good recipes on homemade purees, send them my way!

5 - i attended a blog conference last month and had so much fun that i wanted to go to another one. there is one called blogher foods in may and it's geared just towards food bloggers so i really wanted to go, but i knew there was no way we would be able to afford it, considering that it's in miami freaking florida. then, i got talking to my friend, hayley, and she encouraged me to try to get sponsored. so, i asked around a little bit and what do you know? the company that makes candiquik {that dipping chocolate you see in like, every grocery store? yeah. them.} is totally going to pay for me to go!! i was super excited about it and still can't believe that this blog has taken me to places like this. i have a problem with comparing it and its size to other people, but ya know what? i've worked dang hard at getting it to where it is and i'm totally proud of it. regardless of whether it's smaller than other people's blogs. that's all.

well friends - same time. same place. next week. {actually, probably not the same time because ain't nobody got to worry about writing a blog post at the exact same time every week. but, you get the point.}

-the mrs.

a jumble of thoughts.

i've sat down to blog about a dozen times in the last two months and it's like i have a billion things to say, but for some reason, i can't get the words formulated into sentences without completely boring myself to death. i've never seen myself as a creative person, but i feel like i'm losing what creativity i did have and i'm at a loss on how to get it back. i used to scan pinterest for hours, looking for all things diy and now all i look for is food. i feel like i can be creative sometimes when it comes to my food blog, but as far as making things for myself to like i used to, it's basically non-existent. i just want to make pretty things for my house, gosh dang it! i realized that back in the day, when i was writing on this blog consistently, i was also making some kind of craft like every other day. it sounds weird, but i'm wondering if the two things go hand it hand. i've heard that if you want to become like a legit writer, then you must write every day, not matter how long or short, meaningful or pointless. maybe that's the same with me and writing on this blog. so im going to try to up my crafting game and see what it can do for the ol' brain. my first attempt was last night when i decided on a whim to make addi a new crib sheet.

when i started piecing together her nursery, i was bound and determined that it was going to be gray and white with a soft, light pink touch to it. that sounded awesome until i found that the cheapest gray rocking chair in like the whole wide world, was no less than $600. umm, no thank you. so i settled for a $200 dark brown recliner and themed the nursery around that. where that recliner is super comfy and pretty much perfect - it's still brown. which means i settled. i hate settling. so, i've talked zach into letting me revamp the nursery in the near future and making it exactly how i want it to be! i bought some fabric last night and went to town.

i'm pretty much in love with it and want to make like, 10 more. i found the tutorial on how to do it from danamadeit.com. I'm pretty sure you need to visit that place right now. it's a wonderland. and you should make like, 10 of these too. if not for you, then for someone you know. or for me. that's fine too.

along with not feeling creative, i know that the only thing i would ever write about is addi. which isn't bad, but i keep thinking that there are only so many posts about addi that i can write before this blog gets a tad bit redundant and boring. then i realized how stupid that sounds. you learn quick as a mom that you seriously eat, drink, and sleep baby mode. if she's sleeping, i'm checking the clock to see how long she has been down. if she's asleep for too long though, then i'm peeking through the crack in the door because i'm almost positive that she has passed out in her sleep or something, which in turn actually wakes her up. then i'm torn with the emotions of 'dang it, i should have let her keep sleeping!' and 'thank heavens, she's okay!'. when she is awake, i'm making sure she is entertained so that she doesn't become dumb like all the parenting books tell you will happen if you don't spend enough time interacting with your kid or i'm thinking about when the next time she needs to take a nap, or the last time she ate, or worrying about why she hasn't rolled from her back to her belly yet and don't even get me started on crawling. she's only 7 months old, but she hasn't even started trying to crawl, which makes me envision taking care of this full-grown adult that doesn't know how to walk and can barely sit up. yeah. all of that runs through my head. every day. being a mom gives you a crazy, busy mind. so, sue me if this blog ends up turning out to be more about the little miss and a lot less of the mr. and the mrs. someday, i'll have my brain back and will be able to form two thoughts that don't have to do with my kid. but, today is not that day. and i'm completely okay with it. 

i recently read this article actually and i thought it summed up my current feelings on motherhood pretty dang well. sometimes it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel where you don't have puke on your shirt, or you don't have to fight your child every time they take a nap or you don't have to carefully plan out getting ready for the day so that you can shower and blow dry your hair without the baby around because she screams every time you turn the blow dryer on, or when you can leave home by yourself for longer than three hours. who knows when that won't be my life anymore, but as for right now, i'm trying to soak it in because one day my baby won't need me, and only me. she will have someone else to complete her just like zach completes me now. and that makes my heart hurt already. 

at the beginning of the year, i opened up an email account in addi's name and i have been sending her a picture or herself every day, along with what we did that day. sometimes, i write her letters and just tell her how i'm feeling or thinking and little bits of information that i think she needs to know. i haven't decided if i'm going to tell her about it before i give her the password to it, but either way, i'm excited for all the memories it will keep for us. i look at her hands and feet and they still look so small. i know it's ridiculous, but i've honestly wondered if her feet have grown at all since she was born, because they still look so tiny! then we took some friends some dinner last week. they just had a baby and holy toledo. addi looked like a giant compared to their baby! you may think that sounds stupid. like, duh, sarah. what do you expect from a seven month old? they can't stay little forever! yes. i know that. but when you see them every day, you don't realize how big they truly are. my baby is literally growing right before my eyes and i wish time would just slow the heck down so i can soak up every little moment and memory. i'm really hoping that this whole e-mail thing will help preserve as many memories as possible. after all, i'm only going to be a first time mom once!

anyway. long story short, i'm feeling kind of nostalgic tonight and i'm missing this space here on the internet that was once my spot to write everything down and share every little thing. maybe it's because we are finally settling down a little bit, so we don't get out and explore as much, so i don't feel like i have much to talk about? i don't know. if that's the case though, then it looks like we need to do some adventuring to keep our life not so boring! oh, summer time. you can't come fast enough. until next time, friends!

-the mrs.

new year's resolutions 2014

i'm kind of lame when it comes to new year's resolutions. i always think, "pssh, i don't need no resolutions to motivate me to do something." and then new year's day comes and i get all nostalgic like, "i can't not make resolutions! that's just what you do!". then i'm sad because i didn't complete one of my resolutions that i made on the first day of the year, so i obviously have to wait until next year to try again. that totally happened tonight actually. i thought it would be cool to set up an email account for adelaide and take a picture of her in the same position every single day and send it to that account. i was super excited about it until i remember that she is in bed. sound asleep. and there ain't no way i'm waking her up for a stupid picture. my ocd mind is all bummed out because i can't get exactly a year of pictures now, but the more i thought about it, the more i realized how lame i was being and that i should start it tomorrow and it will be awesome still.

anyway. long story short. i'm a procrastinator when it comes to goals. ironic much? yeah. but here i am. setting goals for the new year. and i'm actually really excited about it. you see, i may have thought about the whole picture thing last minute, but i've been mulling around some other goals in my head for a few days now. i didn't want them to be the same goals that i make every year though. you know the ones - "oh, i want to eat healthier this year" or "i really want to workout more" and those lame generic kind that are only about losing weight. yes, i do have a goal of working out 3 times a week {gotta put my gym membership to use. those things are expeeeensive!}, i would love to lose 25 pounds {don't you dare tell me that's too much. i've had a few people say that already and to them i say that's a bunch of poppycock. i know what my body is capable of and i know it has 25 pounds to lose.}, and i want to eat a serving of vegetables at at least one meal a day, {yeah, it's that hard for me to remember to eat veggies that i have to make a goal out of it.}, but i also wanted to try to do some things that were actually meaningful to my soul. so, after much thought and pondering, here's what i came up with:

5 - make thursdays laundry day. back when we were living in santa maria, zach and i were talking about household chores and i told him how much i loathed doing dishes. i think i was forced to do them one too many times growing up and now i can't stand it. not just the loading/unloading either. i can't stand the smell. nothing makes me want to dry heave more than a waft of warm, ranch dressing smelling steam, blowing in my face. blech. it gives me the shivers just thinking about it. anyway, i digress. i told him i hated doing dishes and he said, "that's funny, because that's how i feel about doing laundry!". {really, i think he hates doing laundry because he has to fold everything perfectly to air force standards, so it takes him an hour to fold one basket. it's okay though. i think it's kind of cute. ;)} so, we made a deal that from then until we die, i would be in charge of laundry if he would be in charge of dishes. it actually works really well! besides me having to do the part where i clean and fold the laundry - you know. the main part? i'm so bad at it. it drives me crazy. so, i've designated thursdays as laundry day. really, any day could be laundry day, i guess. i am a stay at home mom, after all, but for some reason thursday stuck out in my mind. chances are, i will forget, so since i'm telling you, feel free to send me a gentle reminder. my husband will be ever so grateful. ;)

4 - send a birthday card to every member in my immediate family {sorry extended family. i love you, but that's just so. many. people.} i've wanted to do this for years, but always end up accidentally forgetting someone and then i think that i can't keep sending them to everyone else because that person will think i don't love them, but i can't send out a card late because they will know i forgot and that won't make them feel very special either, so i end up bagging the whole idea and by the end of the year, i kick myself because i know how much it means to me to get a card on my birthday and i want other people to feel that special too. whew. longest run-on sentence ever. basically, i would love to send a gift to everybody i know for their birthday, but when you add up the gift and postage and times that by like a hundred relatives? talk about expensive. so, birthday cards will have to do. i'm determined to make it happen.

3 - plan a budget for every single penny that comes into our bank account and stick to it. to say i love budgeting is an understatement. i looooove it. i've always been the money manager in our marriage. zachary is still a part of it and i bounce ideas off of him frequently, but finances stress him out a little bit more than they do me, so i've been happy to take charge. i've written a budget for 99% of every paycheck we've ever received {i think i missed one} and it has helped us so much in reducing debt. my only problem is that i write the budget, pay the essential bills immediately, and then kind of shove all sticking-to-the-budgetness out the window. {let's just say that retail therapy is real and i've fallen victim to it multiple times.} each paycheck, zachary and i get $30 each that is ours to spend on whatever the heck we want. my goal is to pay off the bills and rather than seeing left over money that's free game to supplement my 'fun money' for the new pair of pants i've had my eye on, i have to save up for as long as it takes to buy them with my 'fun money' alone. it's sounds like an easy concept, right? i'm terrible at it. we'll see how it goes.

2 - going along with that, i'd really like to bump up our savings. i saw this picture floating around facebook last week and i immediately saved it:

isn't that amazing?? That's almost $1400 without breaking a sweat. I figured that if we do that along with what we already have allotted to go into savings each month, we will be set.

and finally,

1 - blog more here and less there. okay, maybe not so much less there, considering i've posted like twice in the last two weeks, but when i sat back and thought about it, my ultimate goal is to make it so adelaide only knows my work blog exists because i tell her it does. not because she sees me working on it all the time. there's something you should know about me: i'm kind of an addict. to all sorts of things. junk food. sleeping. cheesy netflix shows. you name it. and as much as it pains me to say it, i am also addicted to my computer. i have a tendency that when i'm working on a blog post, i immerse my whole self into it until it's done and when something interrupts me, i tend to get a little bit annoyed. that something has been my phone, copper, zach, adelaide, or heck, even needing to eat! it's a little out of hand. so, i told myself that i can only blog when addi is sleeping or when zachary is home, so he can play with her. and even then, i have an hour {unless it's saturday, then i get two} where i can work as hard as possible and whatever i get done is great, but once the clock is up, the laptop gets closed. i'm sick of wasting so much time on my computer and i look forward to days when i can fully focus on adelaide without feeling guilty that i haven't written a post or made a recipe. oh, the joys of being your own boss. i'm actually the most excited about this resolution. the last thing i want is to put my family second to something that is just going to bring in a little extra income = satisfy temporary happiness. the whole point of me working from home is to be able to spend time with adelaide. it kind of defeats the purpose if i'm working for 8 hours and ignoring her anyway! my reasoning behind wanting to blog more here though, is because this blog has been like a journal to me. we have so many good times shared on here and i'm a little bit sad that in looking over the last year, i only have a handful of posts to read. especially since it's been such a life changing year. my goal is to blog so much that it probably annoys the crap out of people, but at least i can have every moment documented and then i want to print it out and make a book out of it. so, sorry in advance for the bombardment of posts. i'm sure you'll get over it.

so, there you have it. my top resolutions for the year. i've never been good at keeping resolutions, but i want 2014 to be the year for change. wish me luck!

-the mrs.

p.s. feel free to share your resolutions! i love hearing what people are working on. sometimes it motivates me to do things i wouldn't have thought of otherwise!

having a baby: what they don't tell you.

*warning: this is really long. that's all.*

i posted addi's birth story a couple weeks ago and mentioned that i wanted to cry every time i thought about it in the beginning. here's where i tell you why. to some, this blog post may seem a little uncomfortable. it's going to be honest and blunt, but if there is just one mama out there that feels the same way that i did and can know that they aren't alone, then my mission will be complete.

things were rocky from the start. i tried to get adelaide to breastfeed  right after she was born, but she wouldn't. the nurses told me she must not be hungry, so we snuggled her and cuddled her and soaked in every skin fold and tiny finger and toe that we could. we tried a couple times over the next twelve hours, but nothing worked. twelve hours my baby went without food. i'd like to believe that the nurses were right in saying that this was okay, but looking back now, i wish they had helped me try harder. i told one nurse that i thought babies came out just knowing how to breastfeed and she looked at me and said, matter-of-factly, "they know how to suck, they don't know how to latch." i was a little dumbfounded and wondered why the crap nobody told me that before i had this little rugrat in my arms that i was supposed to take care of!

anyway, that was just the prelude to what would be the worst week of my entire life. two days in the hospital, being checked on every couple hours, having every meal prepared nice and hot for us, and the next thing we know, we're loading up a 7 pound human into her car seat and taking her home. where it would be just us three. at that moment, i was excited, not terrified like i've heard a lot of moms say. that didn't last long.

i don't remember very well what even went down that day. all i know is it ended in tears. and so did the next day. and the next day. and pretty much every day that entire week.

i still had problems breastfeeding. so much so, that i finally broke down and got a pump. that right there, made me cry. hard. i was so envious of my mom friends that were breastfeeding without a problem and could have that "special bond" that everyone talked about. instead, i felt like a milking cow. every feed, i would pump while zach gave her the bottle. that was until she stopped taking a bottle. we were feeling hopeless and desperate. we knew she was starving, but she would suck a few times and then push it out and scream. this went on for about an hour. we were at our wits end, all three of us crying, and then as i grabbed the bottle, i realized after all the sucking she had done, none of it had been eaten. come to find out, the stupid nipple didn't have a hole in it! this didn't happen just one, but two times. note to self: check all nipples before using.

night time made me anxious. when about 5 o'clock rolled around, i would be a nervous wreck and just cry and cry. all i could think about was the sleep i would lose due to the baby that i didn't know how to console. day time was spent mourning the life i would never have again - zachary and i doing whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. being able to cuddle up and watch a movie. taking spontaneous trips to denver. sleeping in on the weekends. the idea of having to take care of a human all day, every day, with no appreciation for my sacrifice was daunting. to say the least.

i don't know what it's like for most new moms, but i do know that there was so. much. screaming. adelaide seemed livid all the time. if she didn't like something, she wasn't afraid to let us know. i was convinced that she just plain hated being a baby and that we were going to have to deal with this for the rest of our life.

when i really sat back and thought about it, i realized - i hated my baby. i know. that sounds awful. i cringed even typing it up just now. no mom was ever supposed to feel this way. i didn't want to be around her. i didn't feel any sort of connection to her. i'd fantasize about going to the hospital and convincing them to take her back. i'd tell them that i was crazy and wasn't fit to take care of a baby, so they'd lock me up in an insane asylum and that's where i would live out my days, but at least i wouldn't have to be responsible for someone that i was almost certain hated me back. pretty extreme, right? what happened to the feelings of euphoria that moms feel when they bring a baby home? what happened to being overcome with love for someone that i had just met? why didn't anyone tell me how truly hard being a parent is? all i ever heard was how rewarding it is and how there's nothing like it and blah blah blah. i wish someone had told it to me straight. things felt so unfair.

funny enough, i remember zachary asking his brother early on when he felt like things got worth it. {because at that point, they didn't feel worth it at all. we were cursing ourselves for making the biggest mistake of our lives.} his brother said that at about the six week mark is when things start paying off. was he ever right. in fact, i can honestly say that on addi's six week birthday is when i felt like i could actually do this whole mom thing. what a relief it was.

i think my biggest mistake in all of this, was thinking that the struggles we were having were going to be there forever. that's what brought the most feelings of hopelessness - thinking about the future and feeling like i would rather die than have to do what we had been doing those first few days for another month or longer.

umm, hello? do you have any idea how much a baby changes in a month? adelaide was nowhere near the same baby in a month as she was during that first week. were things still new? yes. would she scream and i still didn't know how to help her? yes. did i want to curl up in the fetal position in the corner of my bedroom and cry some days? yes. but i can't even tell you how different i felt. every day brought just a little bit more confidence in my abilities to be a mom.

now that things have slowed down a bit, i realized that all of these feelings of absolute helplessness were probably due to an extreme lack of sleep. that and my total resistance to being a parent. is life different than it used to be? you betcha. but now, after three months of this little beauty in our lives, it's hard to imagine what it would be without her.

i would give anything to have known what i know now in those early stages of parenthood. oh, what a difference it would have made in my life! because of this, i'd like to share 9 of the most important things that i think every new mom should know. take it for what it's worth. if for nothing else, i'll be able to show this to adelaide one day when she becomes a first time mom. :)

1. breastfeeding is hard. really hard. you may not have the experience i have had, but i haven't talked to one mama that hasn't had some kind of pain with it. be ready. read up on it. know how to breastfeed. even if it means looking up pictures and videos of other random people feeding their kid. don't be afraid of seeing boob! the more you know, the smoother it will be.

2. have your baby checked for a lip/tongue tie. i hope i didn't give off the impression that once your baby is three months old, everything is rainbows and unicorns. it might be for some parents, but not for us. it still hurts every time adelaide latches. trust me though, this is not the norm. early on, i wrote in a breastfeeding support group that nursing was still super painful and a few people suggested that addi might have a lip or a tongue tie. i kind of cast it off because that seemed to be the first thing people turned to in this group and it was kind of annoying. so finally, last week we had her checked and it turns out she has both. her lip tie is pretty severe actually and we are hoping to get both of them clipped as soon as our insurance situation is figured out. everyone with a lip/tongue tied baby swears that it makes a heck of a difference getting it fixed, so i'm crossing my fingers that it will do the same for us! just do me a favor and make sure early on, so you don't have to go through what i've had to!

3. invest in the book, 'secrets of the baby whisperer'. i read 'baby wise', which i really liked, but then my sister-in-law, carli, suggested this one. i got it in the mail one day from what i thought was my little brother, but it turns out it was from my high school soccer coach. yeah. she's a gem. and i can't tell you how much this book has changed my life. i don't know what i'm doing as a mom, but this book has at least given me some kind of grip on things and made me feel like i might actually be able to do this whole being a parent thing. if i can suggest one book to read your entire pregnancy, this would be it. i bought a lot of birthing and pregnancy books, but let's be honest - that's all the easy part. the hard part is knowing what to do with the baby after it's here, which is what this book helps with. buy it. use it. love it.

4. do not, and i repeat, do not wake your sleeping baby at night. i don't care how many books you've read that say you need to wake them up to eat every four hours, don't believe them. your baby will be fine and honestly? they'll probably end up sleeping longer sooner. after all, why would you want to put your baby on a schedule to wake up at night when your end goal is to get them to sleep? it doesn't make sense. i know. just let them sleep. i promise, you will thank yourself later for this.

5. when your baby does start sleeping for 8 hours at night, don't go bragging about it. because the next thing you know, she'll only want to sleep four hours at a time again. trust me. i know from experience. i wasn't intentionally trying to brag. i was just excited. and then we had two weeks of interrupted sleep. every. single. night. it was awful knowing what a full night's sleep was and then having to go back to that. but on a good note, she slept for 11 hours last night! hooray! {is that bragging?}

6. give your baby a freaking binky! i don't believe in the whole nipple confusion crap. every nurse and lactation consultant will tell you that giving a baby a binky is bad juju, but if i could go back, i would have given adelaide the first moment i could. babies need to suck, that's all there is to it. they suck for comfort and if your baby is anything like mine, they won't want to use their hands to remedy that problem. instead, the nurses had zachary give addi his finger and that's all she will take now. i will literally have my finger in her mouth and quickly switch it for a binky and she will spit it out like it's poison. so weird. i know a lot of parents that complain about having to break their child from a binky, but if it can save your sanity just a little bit, then i say it's worth it.

7. don't compare. i can't tell you how many times in these short three months that i've worried there's something wrong with my baby because someone else's baby was doing things quicker. rolling over, holding up their head, babbling your ear off. all of it has caused some kind of insecurity inside of me. take it from someone who knows - don't compare. it'll make you miserable and after all, every baby learns and grows at their own pace. just because your baby is slower at something doesn't make them any less capable.

8. shower every single day. my friend, whitney, shared this little piece of advice and what a difference it has made! don't judge me, but i used to shower every other day. i didn't like washing my hair every day, so this was my solution. that was until i discovered shower caps. oh, and dry shampoo. best. invention. ever. since having adelaide, i still only wash my hair every other day, but i shower every day and what a difference it makes! you'll feel better, more motivated to get things done, and the obvious? cleaner. much cleaner.

9. snuggle the crap outta that baby. soak up every smell, giggle, and wrinkle. just about every baby book you read will frown against rocking your baby to sleep, but i usually take one naptime out of the day to rock adelaide to sleep. there is nothing more tender than a sleeping baby and it gives me time to appreciate her sweetness. take in as much of their littleness as possible. they grow up so fast.

maybe you see all of this as a bunch a poppycock and that's okay. it's been therapeutic for me to write it. just do the best that you can as a mama and whatever that is, is great. keep calm and mother on, friends.

-the mrs.

and baby makes three.

well folks. it happened. zachary and i became parents. we have an 11 week old human being living in our house. {the important word here is 'living'.} i've been wanting to write this blog post almost every day for that 11 weeks, but haven't been able to. lately, it's been mostly cause i'm busy, but for the first 6 weeks it was because every time i thought about it, i wanted to break down and cry. i'll give you more on that later, but for now, there's a cute little miss in our life that you all need to meet.

so, where to start? i guess from the beginning. {don't worry, i won't go back to the very beginning. just for your sake. ;)}

•22 july 2013•

i woke up that morning at 5:27 am. i made my usual rounds on the social media sites on my phone as i tried to get myself to wake up. the top news story was that kate middleton had just been admitted to the hospital for early labor signs. yes. the duchess and i were going to have twinner babies. this was exactly what i had been hoping for all week! i kissed zachary on the cheek and told him the great news, then proceeded to get in the shower.

the entire time as i got ready that morning, all i could think about was how much our life was going to change.

"this is the last time i'll take a shower as a not mom."

"this is the last time i'll blow dry my hair as a not mom."

"this is the last time i'll get dressed as a not mom."

i was having a hard time wrapping my head around it, but i couldn't stop smiling. i then went downstairs for breakfast - zachary and i have a tradition on birthdays to have german pancakes for breakfast and we thought that this birthday should be no different.

we were told to be at the hospital by 7:00 am to be able to get everything prepped and ready to go by 7:30. well, that'd be totally acceptable for most people, but for some reason, i can't be on time to anything worth a darn. so, there we are, zachary, arika {zachary's sister/my bestie/our photographer} and i rolling up to the hospital at 7:25 am.

oh well. luckily i had already pre-registered for everything, so things went pretty quick.

we made our way to the fifth floor - the labor and delivery floor. i'd be lying if i said i didn't have butterflies up the wazoo. the nurse showed me to my room and had me change into my hospital gown. this was it. there was no going back. we would be leaving this place with a baby whether we liked it or not.

i laid on the bed as i got hooked up to an iv and waited for the doctor to come in about a half an hour later. she applied the induction gel and before i could even ask how long until contractions would start, they began to come. they were mild, but still there.

they had to monitor me for an hour and that was probably one of the longest hours of my life. not only were contractions getting harder, but let's just say that all those people who told me that your bowels wanting to be emptied was a sign of early labor - were totally right.

the moment they let me up, we took to walking the halls. it felt like i was in a movie. i didn't need to walk to induce labor because, well, the doc already had that covered for me. i walked to ease the discomfort.

after sitting on a medicine ball for as long as possible {because that thing is amazing}, back to the bed i went for more monitoring. i stayed there for about a half an hour and then the doc came in to check me. she said i was dilated to a six. yes, a six. i came in there two hours earlier at a five, how could i only be at a bloody six?! she broke my water though to speed things up and speed things up it did. not five seconds later, i started having intense contractions. like the kind that made me want to pull my uterus out. since my water was broken though, i couldn't get up and walk or sit on my exercise ball or anything. i just had to lay there. in a pool of warm amniotic fluid. uh. gross.

my goal in all of this baby having thing was to do it all without an epidural. not because i wanted to, but because i was terrified of the "big ginormous huge needle" that everyone so kindly told me about. no way josé was i going to willingly subject myself to that. that was until the contractions started bringing tears. no thank you. let's just say that the next time i have a baby {if there is a next time}, i'm asking for that epidural the moment i walk through those hospital doors. it was magical!

to spare you all the details, i started pushing like 45 minutes later and between my head wanting to explode and a couple bouts of falling asleep, out popped a baby! a beautiful, sweet, gorgeous baby. with the lungs of...err...something that has really strong lungs. man, that girl could scream! we didn't care too much. we had just experienced one of the most incredible moments in our lives and nothing was going to take away that special feeling of overwhelming love and gratitude in being able to create something so beautiful as a human life. 

adelaide candice averett

7.22.13

2:24 pm

7 lbs. 9.6 oz. 

18 1/2 inches long.

thankfully, things have gotten a lot better recently, because let me tell you - that first little bit was rooooough. but now we couldn't love this little girl more. ;) anyway, here's a video to sum up the big day. it's a little up close and personal, but arika captured everything so perfectly that i had to share. enjoy! {p.s. i don't know why, but this video kind of pixelated the pictures. for your viewing pleasure, i suggest you do it in full screen to make things crisper and cleaner. :) that's all.}

-the mrs.

dear baby a,

hey. it's me again. last time we talked, i was feeling kind of bad about all the things i hadn't done for you {and by you, i really mean me} and was feeling like a slacker. i'm over that. i just can't wait for you to be here. which you will be. tomorrow actually. {as long as everything goes as planned.}

i'm 5 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced and have been for quite some time. not to mention, you dropped like a month ago and i've been able to feel your hiccups in my butt ever since. pregnancy is weird. apparently, you are your father's child and are just a little bit stubborn. ;) i'm kidding. i'm pretty sure i'm the stubborn one in the relationship. glad to know you inherited something from me. i kind of wish you'd just pop right on out on your own, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen any time soon. the docs suggest we force ya out ourselves and as much as i wanted it all to happen naturally, it's sounding better and better by the day. especially as i sit here typing this with my arms fully extended, trying to soften the little number your feet and rear end are doing on my ribs. not pleasant. but in all honesty, i think i'm going to miss those jabs and the closeness we've shared these last nine months. it really has been just about everything i hoped it could be.

i feel like i've had it pretty easy with you. sure, you made me quit my job and put me on bed rest at 32 weeks, only to laugh in our face as you teeter on going over your due date. but i really can't complain much. i mean heck, just yesterday, i went floating down the river with your pops and aunt arika. {thanks for deciding not to make your big debut then, by the way. that coulda been awkward.} i don't think very many prego chicks get to do that every day.

i have high hopes for what things are going to be like when you're here. i'd be lying if i said it's going to be easy to let go of the 'zach and sarah' duo that has existed for the last two and a half years. we've kind of loved being able to fly by the seat of our pants and do whatever we want on a whim. but i am so so excited to make it a trio, come tomorrow. we're going to be best friends. all three of us. and that flying by the seat of your pants thing? we don't expect that to change much, so come ready, little girl.

and before i go, i should probably let you in on a little secret - you've got one amazing dad. between all the camping trips and tea parties he's already got planned for you, i'm hoping you guys will still have time to hang out with me. he is so stinking excited to meet you. he tells you that almost every day. he's already making plans on what gun to buy that will be most intimidating to the boys who want to date you. don't worry. i'll only let him pull that card until you're 25. he loves you to death already, sweet pea!

and as for you and i? just expect us to be that mom and daughter that has to talk about everything and doesn't get sick of it. i'm sitting here in your nursery on my last night as a not mom and as terrified as i am for the trials of parenthood, i can't wait to meet you little bean. bring on the crazy adventure!

-your mama

p.s. it's a full moon tomorrow. try not to let that turn you into a weirdo.

i believe...

...in dropping everything to slow dance in your bedroom.

...that 'boy meets world' will forever be a classic.

...sewing has therapeutic effects.

...pregnancy should end at 8 months instead of 9. there's only so much more pressure my pelvis can take.

...this sticky bun breakfast ring is my new favorite breakfast.

...every town should have two walmarts and who gets to shop at each walmart is dependent on their average walking speed.

...that judging from the amount of stares I get, the majority of the public have never seen a pregnant chick before.

...it's way easier to want to clean up your messes if your house is already clean.

...having contractions 5 minutes apart doesn't mean squat. despite what the doctors tell me.

...moving and packing up yourself is no fun. no fun at all.

...having a sick husband is also no fun.

...everybody should start a blog and make money off of it. it's amazeballs.

...having no a/c is pretty much the pits in the dead of summer.

...waking up to the mister still being home is one of the best feelings ever.

...eating ice cream is good for the soul.

...we picked a really good dog.

...i need to go on vacation. stat.

dear baby a,

where to even start? i've had countless conversations with you in my head {and out loud}, but i have yet to write even one of them down. being pregnant is weird. my entire life {and especially after pinterest came about}, i've had this vision of what pregnancy would be like and how i would handle it:

i would take a picture every single week in the exact same outfit in the exact same place at the exact same time.
i would spend hours upon hours reading about everything there is to know about being pregnant/childbirth. ie. what i can and can't eat, best exercise moves, natural or epidural, etc.
i would have a closet full of the most adorable outfits and a whole trunk stuffed full of bows that i so easily made.
i would eat only the best of foods and work out every single day, so as not to get chubby.
i would write in my journal every day, documenting every movement and feeling of you in my belly and exactly how it all made me feel.

it's funny to see that list and to know i truly believed it'd be like that. i hate that i'm human and i'm not perfect at juggling time and cravings. this is how being pregnant with you has panned out so far:

up to date, i think i've taken maybe 4 belly pictures, with the last one being at 16 weeks - i'm now almost 24 weeks now. don't be mad.
i've bought two childbirth books - that's gotta count for something, right? i'm officially 17 pages into one of them that i started 3 and 1/2 weeks ago. as for reading about the best tips for pregnancy, i have three different apps on my phone that give me a short schpeel on what to do/not do. i guess it gets the job done.
your grandma has bought you loads of outfits, but as for me? i think i've bought you 3. don't get me wrong, they're so so cute, but i'm having a hard time spending money on them when i know you're going to be growing so fast when you're here! and i've made you one bow. that looks like poop. i wish i was a better crafter.
i'm sorry for the sugar overload lately, which i know you've noticed because you get more feisty every time i eat a piece of candy. i just can't seem to stop! i can feel myself putting on weight and it's not just the good weight either. i'll try to be better and eat healthier foods.
i've written in my journal twice during this entire pregnancy - the day i found out that it was for real and another day when i felt guilty for not doing it more.

i guess what i'm trying to say is - i'm sorry things didn't go as planned. sometimes i find that i've forgotten that i am even pregnant! that is until i have the sudden urge to pee when i know i just peed ten minutes ago. or when i catch a glimpse in the mirror of my big growing belly. or when i look at the scale and get disheartened to see that i weigh more than i've ever weighed before. i'm sorry i don't have every minute documented, so you can look back and see how much fun i had in your first stages of life. but just because it isn't documented, doesn't mean i'm not loving it. because i am. i love feeling you kick late at night and knowing that you're going to be a big time night owl - just like me. i love the way your dad gets when he talks about you - telling me how excited he is for you to be a daddy's girl and go on daddy-daughter dates and watch star wars together and go on your first camping trip. he even has your nickname picked out and he can't wait to use it. and i especially love envisioning the pretty little lady that i know you're going to be. i'm sorry i'm a little scatterbrained and forgetful, but always know this - i'll never forget to tell you i love you. not a single day of your life. hopefully that will help ease the blow of all of my many imperfections along the way.

we can't wait to meet you, little sweet pea. and until we do, keep growing healthy and strong.

love,
your mama

it's the little things.

like:

chatting on fb with your man all night while he's at work, just to talk about your halloween costumes...when it's only march.

hearing your favorite song on the radio.

when your husband shushes you, just so he can talk to the baby in your belly.

taking a nap with your adorable dog.

sitting down after being on your feet all day.

clean and folded laundry.

watching one of your favorite movies. {you've got mail}

going through old pictures.

having a husband that does the dishes. bless his soul.

driving around at sunset.

finding a good deal on shoes.

movie theater popcorn.

having a whole pot of leftover soup in the fridge, keeping you from having to make dinner for a week.

jellybeans. how i love easter time.

feeling the babelet move for the first time. and the second. and the third. and every time after that.

having slumber parties with the hubs and watching children's movies on netflix.

working part time. oh, it is glorious!

what are some of your favorite little things?

-the mrs.

operation paradise: part two

are you ready for part two of our caribbean palooza?? i could just sit and look at these pictures all day. i want to go back asap!

knock knock puerto rico. we're here!

god bless america...

cute cute cute.

umm, there's a bird on my head.

pb&j cupcake. coming up on the blog soon.

you can't have cupcakes without some milk, right?

"zachary, take a picture of me by this pretty fountain!" *spills snow cone everywhere*

mmm, so serene.

did i mention i'm prego? pretty sure this belly popped out overnight.

smoking hot alert.

let's get our snorkel on!

oh, hello mr. turtle.

and how are you today, mr. stingray?

got fried. had to wear a t-shirt whilst snorkeling. felt like an ugly teenage boy all day.

we read on the boat. a lot.

all dressed up for formal night.

two words: room service.

frog legs, anyone?

our besties.

every night. #nofilter #totallylegit

i really can't get over how great this vacation was. if you are thinking about going on a cruise - do it. if you're too scared to go on one {like i was} - get over it and just do it! you won't regret it. you'll never want to vacation any other way. that's all.

-the mrs.

operation paradise: part one.

so, rather than try to tell you how awesomely fantastic our vacay was, I thought it'd be easier just to share some pics. in a two segment series. because there's so many of them. gosh, this makes me want to go back, stat! without further ado, here is our trip in megapixel form. {beware, i snuck a movie in there as well!}

"this is our house for the next 8 days? uh, yes, please."

bon voyage!

random horses. everywhere.

can't spend time in a tropical paradise without a pina colada!

Tortola - you're really pretty.

don't worry, i'm just getting warmed up. this is only the beginning! stay tuned for the second half of our blissful adventure.

-the mrs.

10 facts/tips for cruising.

some of you may or may not know that zachary and i just got back from my very first cruise! {i say my because zachary has been on 2 of them, prior to knowing me. i know - what was he thinking?} anyway, it would be an understatement to say that it was awesome. it was seriously the best vacation i've ever been on. even better than hawaii {if you can believe that.}

now that we're back in the states and we have some time at the airport to kill {only eight hours is all}, i decided to come up with a list of 10 things i learned on our cruise that i wanted to be sure to share with all of you. here they are:

1- if you eat a hamburger all 8 days of your 8 day cruise, you might get just a tiny bit sick of them.

2 - before you shower and get looking all cute, go outside first and check the weather. you're going to be ticked when it's cold and windy and your adorable little swim suit cover-up keeps flying up over your head.

3 - the casino always wins. always.

4 - when it comes to sunscreen - reapply, reapply, reapply. then reapply some more.

5 - when you order room service, make sure you're done showering before they stop by to deliver your food. that makes for an awkward moment outside your bathroom door.

6 - it is possible to gain ten pounds in one week.

7 - flying by the seat of your pants at every stop, with no plans and some cash in your pocket is the way to go. unless you're given the option to swim with turtles, sting rays, and squid. that's when you just fork over the 160 bucks for the cruise's excursion package and experience the coolest thing you've ever seen in your life.

8 - the first night with your dinner-mates may send you into shell shock at how awkward it is. but do not give up! hang in there and by the end of your cruise they'll feel like long lost friends and you'll miss them every time you sit down to eat afterwards.

9 - multiple soft serve ice creams in a day is awesome. but it's okay to say no sometimes too. which would probably help with the troubles of #6.

10 - when you can't understand your waiter through his thick foreign accent, just nod your head and laugh a little. unless he just told you his wife got knocked up by another dude and left him last month and now he's depressed. this would not be a good time to laugh.

there you have it. the ten most valuable things i learned this week. i hope you learn something from our mistakes experiences as well and in the meantime, be looking forward to a picture overload from our trip. it's going to be wild.

-the mrs.

the holidays/averetts 2.0

disclaimer: i wrote this post like a month ago and never put it up. don't judge me and just roll with it.

merry christmas, happy new year, and all the big shablang-blang! can you believe that a year ago, we spent christmas on the beach and this year it was spent with a foot of snow, sledding down the mountain?

it made me miss the tide pools we played in last year and the lovely picnic we had, but i wouldn't trade this year's christmas for anything. we went all out in our decorating for it and best of all - we spent it with some really great people. 

since we didn't get to go home for christmas, we made a new years trip. but only after we spent one heck of a second anniversary in vail, co!! zachary had been planning the trip for weeks and wouldn't even give me a hint as to where we would be going. i had no idea until we showed up. it was such a surprise! i'd be lying if we said we didn't feel kinda outta place there with everyone and their fancy clothes and cars. we weren't exactly able to blend in as well as we did last year in san fran, but it was still everything i could've ever wanted for an anniversary trip. we actually didn't stay in vail, but rather a little town a mile or two away called minturn. that was probably the best decision we zachary could have made. we were able to get the city/busy feel of vail, but then we were able to come home and relax at the bed and breakfast we stayed in, all nestled in the woods under three feet of snow. it was a winter wonderland! i couldn't have asked for a better way to spend our anniversary.

and besides, isn't my husband just adorable? i'm one lucky girl. i love that after two years, being together is still my favorite place to be. i love you babe! happy anniversary. {even if this is a month late...}

-the mrs.