the end of a long haul?

i have butterflies in my stomach.
all. the. time.
not because my cute husband wakes me up every morning, just to kiss me goodbye before
work. {even despite my horrid dragon breath}
not because after i get out of bed, i am sometimes welcomed to a cleaner-than-the-night-before kitchen and an unloaded dishwasher. {a very welcomed sight to see}
and not even because i am constantly being left little notes around the house telling me why he loves me more than any other human being on the planet.
while these joys of being married to my wonderful man do give me butterflies, they aren't the kind of butterflies i have been having as of late.
remember how we had a bit of a change in plans in our adventures here in del rio?
well, the review board that zachary was a part of met three weeks ago.
word on the street is, we just might be finding out the results of that meeting....tomorrow.
just typing that sends my stomach into disarray.
after waiting around for 3 and 1/2 months, it's almost like we've become numb to the fact that we have no clue where we are going to be or what we are going to be doing for the rest of our life.
i have tried over and over to picture ourselves ten years down the road.
heck, even five years down the road.
are we going to be happily settled in to a beautiful home in massachussetts?
could we possibly enjoy the luxury of moving to aviano, italy, or maybe ramstein, germany?
or could we be living in logan, utah, close to family and surrounded by familiarity?
i can hardly believe that we are this close to finding out.
we basically have two options in all of this: either they keep us in the air force, or they don't.
i haven't decided which one i would rather have.
obviously, if they kept us, we would take our next assignment and move wherever they need us.
i have absolutely loved seeing new places and meeting new people over these last several months,
so i feel like there is no loss there.
on the other hand, i would give anything to live close to our families.
we visited them last month and it makes me so sad to see how quickly our nieces and nephews
are growing up.
zachary and i have a secret plan to be the best aunt and uncle ever and that's nearly impossible
when we live 2,000 miles away.
not only that, but there's something about being with people that you know love and accept you, that makes you never want to have a reason to leave.
maybe it's a good thing that all of this is in God's hands because if it were up to me, we'd probably end up being here another year while i tried to decide which option i like more.
we definitely don't want that to happen.
i can undoubtedly say that i am so grateful for this wait to be over.
we have learned a lot and have done our best to be patient, but we are ready to know.
no matter what the outcome, we will trust that God has our best interest at heart.
thank you for all of your prayers and support.
we couldn't have done it without you.
wish us luck!

-the wife


  1. Sarah, I will be praying for you and Zach (and the rest of our friends that are in the reclass board) I know the uncertainty has to be hard!

  2. Good luck! I know how you feel though, seriously. Taylor is not in the airforce but when he was looking for a job we had no idea where we were going to end up and it was hard for me. I also like having stability and a plan. I just want to be to have a house that is my house, for crying out loud! :)
    Anyway, I will pray for you guys!

  3. Keep us posted. I hope that whatever does happen, you feel peace about what God has in store for you. Even w/ Ty having a job, I still feel anxiety at times about our future.

  4. Just remember, no matter how scary it may be for you...Zach left medically...so if he is kicked out of the Air Force, we definitely will be too. With our luck, it won't be today. You are a really good writer by the way. I love reading your blog. Anyway, love your guts!

  5. Thank you girls! We appreciate your prayers so much! Looks like you were right though, Amber. No dice. :(


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