we must see past what it seems.

i've been trying so hard lately to work out and be healthy.

i really have.

but, let's face it.

sometimes, i don't want to spend an entire hour pumping iron and sweating my brains out.

i don't care that it makes me feel good.

sitting on my butt, watching t.v., and eating candy makes me feel good too. {for a little bit, anyway}

to make things easier for myself on these days, i try to find things to do on my phone while i exercise, that will take my mind off the pain.

for a long time, i had a game that i would play every single day as i pedaled away on the bike, but that got old and i found myself in need of something else.

browsing pinterest and facebook has become my new thing and actually works quite well.

anyway, as i was riding and playing on facebook one day last week, i came across this story.

i was only halfway through it when there may or may not have been a few tears shed in that gym.

i was so deeply touched by this woman's strength.

not only because i can't begin to imagine the loneliness that would come with losing your husband like that, but because while i am hear soaking up this profound lesson, merely by reading her words, she had to learn it the hard way.

wouldn't we all like to wear signs around our neck, telling the world about our secrets and burdens that go unseen?

not to receive attention or pity, but like this woman said, "so that people would be more gentle..."

i am guilty of not being more gentle when i should have.

i've so easily let a snide remark slip or feelings of jealousy creep into my heart, that i don't see how someone else is feeling in their seemingly perfect life.

on the other hand, i have been on the receiving end of this situation as well.

i don't think there is anything worse than being criticized by someone that has no idea of the underlying problems going on in your life.

i can't do anything about those people, except grin and bear it.

but i can do something about the way i treat others.

from now on, i promise to try to do a little more and be a little better in reading other's signs.

feel free to join me.

-the wife

finally.

so, apparently i was really off in my speculations as to when we were going to find out what we would be doing with the rest of our lives.
really off.
but the good news is that now, a month later, we finally do know.

i got this text from zachary today at 2:29 p.m.:

"3:05 p.m. i'm meeting with the wing commander. today's the day baby. pray and be calm."

i'm pretty sure my heart sunk straight to my toes.
my hands are shaking, i'm on the verge of tears, and i'm fearing that if i don't get it together quick, the two kids i'm babysitting will think i have gone crazily mad.
i take a few deep breaths and regain composure.
i was able to go home about fifteen minutes later, but let me tell you, the half an hour that followed was the longest of my life!
i sat at home trying to do anything that would occupy my mind.
i prayed, read my scriptures, crocheted, prayed again, watched some t.v. and prayed even more.
i don't think my phone rang for more than few milliseconds before i picked it up.
zachary informed me that he will be retained in the air force and will be going on to be a space and missiles officer!
i felt my whole body sigh in relief.
i couldn't have been more grateful.

that's all we really know at this point.
we don't know where our next base will be or when we will be leaving.
we know that there will be some training to be done at vandenburg afb, in california, but as to when that will happen, we don't have a clue.
so far, the space and missiles base options aren't looking too fabulous, but that's okay.
we have no room to complain.
maybe we were supposed to go through all of this crap, so that instead of getting upset about where we are stationed, we can remember the last four months of dread and just be grateful that zachary has a job.
besides, i think if we can conquer laughlin, we can conquer them all.

one thing i have learned in all of this, is that God has a plan.
for all of us.
in my time trying to occupy my mind today, i came across this quote from president Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the first presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

"to paraphrase the Psalmist of old, if we wait patiently for the Lord, He will incline unto us. He will hear our cries. He will bring us out of a horrible pit and set our feet upon a solid rock. He will put a new song in our mouths, and we will praise our God. many around us will see it, and they will trust in the Lord."

i don't think that anything has brought me more comfort in the last four months than this.
i couldn't help but think that whether the "solid rock" that He would be setting our feet on was somewhere in the air force or somewhere back home, i knew that His purpose in putting us there would be for our happiness.
that's all He wants to give us is happiness.
though we may not see it at the time, whatever happens in this life is for our benefit.
i truly believe that.
i hope this all made sense and that you are understanding what i'm feeling, which is extreme gratitude and also appreciation for the solace that comes from knowing i have a Father in Heaven that is taking care of us.
thank you for your love, support, and prayers.
we are more than grateful.

-the wife

9/11

What happened that September Day?
We all struggle to understand.
With grief and anguish in our hearts,
Our country must take a stand.

Soon the Stars and Stripes appear
On every home and car,
A symbol of strength and hope,
As we prepare in war.

As the flags grow scarce,
We search far and wide,
The need for "Old Glory"
To reflect our pride ...

... Times goes on, months have passed,

The families of September 11th
Seek normalcy, if any.

But wait ... what's this ... the Stars and Stripes,
That once flew far and wide,
Many ripped and torn and faded,
Have we forgotten our pride?

I wonder what the families think,
Old Glory now worn and tattered,
As they pass those familiar homes and cars,
The flag, once all that mattered

It makes me think about our nation,
When I see our flag so frayed.
How soon we all forget the pain
Of that tragic September day.

So let's think about those special heroes,
Who lost their lives that day,
And honor them with fitting flags
And for the families ... Pray!

-Author Unknown


i was in the sixth grade on september 11,2001.
i had no idea about the attack until i got to school and my friend, kyle lund, told me what happened.
the rest of the day was spent watching the news.
i didn't understand much of what was going on at the time.
i thought it was all an "accident".
i couldn't wrap my head around the idea that someone would actually want to do harm to our country.

after watching basically every show possible this week about that devastating day, my heart goes out to all the victims' families and friends.
this isn't an easy day as an American, let alone someone who views this day as the anniversary of losing someone near and dear.

i'm so very grateful to live in a country that will stand united in trying times.
i'm grateful for those that serve diligently to defend this country as well.
let us never forget those that have fallen and always wave Old Glory with pride.
God bless America.

-the wife

five fab favs

five things that i am loving in my life right now:

1. frozen coconut limeade:

{picture and recipe can be found here}

it's only wednesday and i've already made 2 batches of this, this week. zachary and i love it! i make it virgin of course, by using "coco reals cream of coconut". it's like 3 bucks at walmart, but it tastes like a million dollars in your mouth. you should make some right now. do it. and love it.

2. marble wars:

{l to r: kathryn, andrew, zachary, me, nate. amber taking pic.}

i'd never even heard of this game until i met zachary's family. his brother, alex, has a friend that makes them and when we visited utah a couple weeks ago, alex surprised us and gave us one! it is seriously the funnest game ever. we had so much fun playing it last week with these guys that zachary and i sat down and played like 7 games for family home evening. it. was. awesome.

3. "dance moms"



i think this trailer put all of the drama from every episode in to one. it's really not that bad....ok, maybe it is. but who doesn't like drama? as long as i'm not a part of it, i am a-okay. anyway, aside from the yelling and crying crazy people in this show, my favorite part is watching these little girls dance. holy-freaking-cow! for the first time in my life, i can honestly say that i would love to raise a dancer. if my little girl could be half as good as these girls are, i would be proud. all of the other moms get jealous of maddie beating their girls at every competition, but seriously? don't be hatin' just cause she is good! she has some serious talent to behold.

4. cd exchanges.
a couple weeks ago, i got a fb message from my cute friend mykel beorchia, asking me to do a cd exchange with her. she had just heard anberlin's song "inevitable", loved it, and wanted it. so she gave an offer that in exchange for some anberlin music, she'd give me some of her favorites. and just like that, i had four cd's of brand new music that i absolutely love. {thanks mykel!} it got me thinking that i could really get used to this whole cd exchange thing, so if any of you are in dire need of new music, like myself, and would want to swap some tunes, feel free to hit me up!

 5. "brighter than the sun"-by colbie caillat.



doesn't this song make you want to dance and sing? i'm pretty sure it's been out for a couple of months, but i'm just now discovering it. definitely my favorite song of hers. good job colbie.

anything awesome in your life right now that you'd like to share? i'm up for suggestions!

-the wife

'the help' and the red sox.

no plans for the weekend usually means going to a movie at our lovely del rio movie theater.
even though it has a slight, musty, urine smell and the speakers work on and off, we like to catch a good show there now and again.
this was the case tonight.
i'm pretty sure we were the last ones in the country to watch "the help".
everyone and their dog has facebook and twittered about it, so we thought we'd jump on the bandwagon and see what all the hype is about.

ohemgee, i'm so glad we did.

it was the best movie i have seen in a really long time.
i was expecting it to be a little more historical/serious, but it wasn't at all!
it had me laughing my head off one minute and then trying to hold back the tears the next.
not to mention, emma stone is adorable.
i think she is in my top 10 {at least} list of girl crushes.
also, i absolutely loved their clothes!
does anyone else wish that we dressed and did our hair like they did back then?
this was one of my favorite outfits:

i love the tight waisted dress and the poofy hair.
obviously you have to have the bod to pull it off, but i feel like it just says, "i am quaint and cute."
and p.s. this girl did a really good job at being mean.
basically, if you haven't seen it yet, get on it because you will love it!

in other news, i accidentally washed some of my favorite socks with our red kitchen rug today:

the same red rug that i got after zachary for washing with all of our brand new white dish towels.
it used to drive me nuts growing up, that none of my family cared about separating colors when doing laundry.
all of my yellow clothes would turn out green after being washed with jeans and all of my camisoles would have a pink tint to them after being washed with one of the billion manti templar red t-shirts we had layin' around the house.
after making the same mistake, i guess i shouldn't have been so critical.

-the wife

fall-time.

it is now september!

do you know what this means?

cool crisp nights. {well, everywhere but del rio that is}

beautiful fall leaves.

school buses roaming around the neighborhood.
the feeling of halloween just around the corner.

i absolutely love this time of year!

i set out my new wassail scented wax melt today and boy oh boy, i wish i could

send you its fragrance through my little typing fingers.

it screams fall and has enveloped my entire house...mmm.

i think it's going to send me into an autumn coma.

here are a few other things that have gotten me into the fall-time spirit:

1. doesn't this porch look so welcoming? 

2. what adorable little pumpkins! And the best part of all, is this awesome tutorial on

how to make them yourself. i love diys.

3. an easy and very elegant centerpiece for those holiday parties coming up!

4. boots + scarves = fall for sure. this outfit is beautiful beyond words! i love the belted scarf.

5. awesome step-by-step instructions on how to make these simple, yet decorative wheat jars. all i need is a silhouette cameo to make them with and a mantle to put them on!

i think my favorite fall decoration that i have come across so far though, would have

to be this little beauty:

gorgeous eh?

i found everything to make it at joanns for just 7 bucks!

too bad we don't have a joanns nearby though, because it's an extra 6 dollars

just for shipping and handling.

curse you shipping and handling!!

i'll probably end up caving and buying it all anyway.

i think it is beautiful and sounds super easy to make.

i was also informed today, that september is national sewing month.

so, i took it upon myself to buy some cute $5 fabric at wal-mart and will be attempting

to make this incredibly awesome scarf this weekend:

it could be a superbly rewarding experience or an awful, self-esteem crushing, miserable one.

i'll be sure to let you know which path it takes.

anyway, i hope you are all just as excited about this change in seasons as i am and that you take some time to sip a hot cup of wassail and eat a slice of pumpkin pie for me!

-the wife