columbus day weekend.

dear mr. columbus,

i want to thank you for coming to america so many years ago. because of you, i was able to go on one of the best three-day vacations ever with my husband. we took a five hour drive to big bend national park and boy oh boy, was it delightful. can you feel our joy?

we had a rocky start at first. this sight definitely made my stomach turn:

i thought we were in for a couple of cold, wet days. it's hard to believe, that ten minutes later, it looked like this:

we set up camp, ate smores, and played games on our first night:

the next day, we hiked a couple miles to "the window":

it was so nice to be around mountains. it gave us that safe, enclosed, utah feel. i lurved it. thank goodness, we didn't have any encounters with wild animals like everyone else around us. between the couple bears and mountain lions that were spotted, we got lucky and only had to deal with the numerous amount of skunks.

seriously though.

i felt like our camp was being overtaken every night. we actually had one skunk almost rip a hole in our tent, trying to get in. it woke both of us up and i shined my flashlight in its direction and i could see its little nose poking through our zipper. i didn't want it to spray us, but i didn't want it in bed with us either, so i grabbed zachary's shoe and smacked it in the face. it pulled back and stuck its tail up in the air immediately! we held our breath, hoping it wouldn't spray and luckily it just walked away. that was one of many during our two night stay.

we spent the rest of our time doing things that all people on vacation should do.

eating ourselves sick with junk food:

{i added the pumpkins to give it a falltime feel. little things like that make me happy.} 

sleeping in:

 {nighttime/sleeping is probably my favorite part of camping}

eating delectable breakfasts and dinners: 

{cinnamon roll pancakes and tin foil dinners, mmm!}

and napping:

{isn't he so cute?}

so, basically we just slept and ate the whole time. it was a much needed getaway and we are very appreciative of your long journey to discover this land, so we can enjoy it. thanks again!

                 

love,

sarah

adios tejas.

lo and behold, there is an end in sight!

as much as i have loved *clears throat* being a texan for these last 6 months, it's time to move on.

in just shy of two months {dec. 2nd}, zachary will be reporting to vandenberg afb, ca for

5 months of training.

can i get a HOLLA for christmas in cali?!

and disneyland!

his graduation date will be may 2nd.

we haven't heard yet whether or not we will be going to our permanent base before or after training, but we have heard where it will be...

....drum roll please....

f.e. warren afb in cheyenne, wyoming!!

it's funny, in the past year or so, we've driven through cheyenne twice; once in the

summer and once in the winter.

both times, i remember saying out loud, "gosh, i'm so glad we don't live here."

goes to show how ironic life can be, i guess, but, i am still so very excited!

this puts us approximately 7 hours from north salt lake {zachary's hometown} and about 8 and 1/2 hours from ephraim {my hometown}.

we could do that on a weekend, easy!

that alone, makes me love it already.

life is good and finally moving forward.

i couldn't ask for more.

except, maybe, for one of these:

-the wife

we must see past what it seems.

i've been trying so hard lately to work out and be healthy.

i really have.

but, let's face it.

sometimes, i don't want to spend an entire hour pumping iron and sweating my brains out.

i don't care that it makes me feel good.

sitting on my butt, watching t.v., and eating candy makes me feel good too. {for a little bit, anyway}

to make things easier for myself on these days, i try to find things to do on my phone while i exercise, that will take my mind off the pain.

for a long time, i had a game that i would play every single day as i pedaled away on the bike, but that got old and i found myself in need of something else.

browsing pinterest and facebook has become my new thing and actually works quite well.

anyway, as i was riding and playing on facebook one day last week, i came across this story.

i was only halfway through it when there may or may not have been a few tears shed in that gym.

i was so deeply touched by this woman's strength.

not only because i can't begin to imagine the loneliness that would come with losing your husband like that, but because while i am hear soaking up this profound lesson, merely by reading her words, she had to learn it the hard way.

wouldn't we all like to wear signs around our neck, telling the world about our secrets and burdens that go unseen?

not to receive attention or pity, but like this woman said, "so that people would be more gentle..."

i am guilty of not being more gentle when i should have.

i've so easily let a snide remark slip or feelings of jealousy creep into my heart, that i don't see how someone else is feeling in their seemingly perfect life.

on the other hand, i have been on the receiving end of this situation as well.

i don't think there is anything worse than being criticized by someone that has no idea of the underlying problems going on in your life.

i can't do anything about those people, except grin and bear it.

but i can do something about the way i treat others.

from now on, i promise to try to do a little more and be a little better in reading other's signs.

feel free to join me.

-the wife

finally.

so, apparently i was really off in my speculations as to when we were going to find out what we would be doing with the rest of our lives.
really off.
but the good news is that now, a month later, we finally do know.

i got this text from zachary today at 2:29 p.m.:

"3:05 p.m. i'm meeting with the wing commander. today's the day baby. pray and be calm."

i'm pretty sure my heart sunk straight to my toes.
my hands are shaking, i'm on the verge of tears, and i'm fearing that if i don't get it together quick, the two kids i'm babysitting will think i have gone crazily mad.
i take a few deep breaths and regain composure.
i was able to go home about fifteen minutes later, but let me tell you, the half an hour that followed was the longest of my life!
i sat at home trying to do anything that would occupy my mind.
i prayed, read my scriptures, crocheted, prayed again, watched some t.v. and prayed even more.
i don't think my phone rang for more than few milliseconds before i picked it up.
zachary informed me that he will be retained in the air force and will be going on to be a space and missiles officer!
i felt my whole body sigh in relief.
i couldn't have been more grateful.

that's all we really know at this point.
we don't know where our next base will be or when we will be leaving.
we know that there will be some training to be done at vandenburg afb, in california, but as to when that will happen, we don't have a clue.
so far, the space and missiles base options aren't looking too fabulous, but that's okay.
we have no room to complain.
maybe we were supposed to go through all of this crap, so that instead of getting upset about where we are stationed, we can remember the last four months of dread and just be grateful that zachary has a job.
besides, i think if we can conquer laughlin, we can conquer them all.

one thing i have learned in all of this, is that God has a plan.
for all of us.
in my time trying to occupy my mind today, i came across this quote from president Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the first presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

"to paraphrase the Psalmist of old, if we wait patiently for the Lord, He will incline unto us. He will hear our cries. He will bring us out of a horrible pit and set our feet upon a solid rock. He will put a new song in our mouths, and we will praise our God. many around us will see it, and they will trust in the Lord."

i don't think that anything has brought me more comfort in the last four months than this.
i couldn't help but think that whether the "solid rock" that He would be setting our feet on was somewhere in the air force or somewhere back home, i knew that His purpose in putting us there would be for our happiness.
that's all He wants to give us is happiness.
though we may not see it at the time, whatever happens in this life is for our benefit.
i truly believe that.
i hope this all made sense and that you are understanding what i'm feeling, which is extreme gratitude and also appreciation for the solace that comes from knowing i have a Father in Heaven that is taking care of us.
thank you for your love, support, and prayers.
we are more than grateful.

-the wife

9/11

What happened that September Day?
We all struggle to understand.
With grief and anguish in our hearts,
Our country must take a stand.

Soon the Stars and Stripes appear
On every home and car,
A symbol of strength and hope,
As we prepare in war.

As the flags grow scarce,
We search far and wide,
The need for "Old Glory"
To reflect our pride ...

... Times goes on, months have passed,

The families of September 11th
Seek normalcy, if any.

But wait ... what's this ... the Stars and Stripes,
That once flew far and wide,
Many ripped and torn and faded,
Have we forgotten our pride?

I wonder what the families think,
Old Glory now worn and tattered,
As they pass those familiar homes and cars,
The flag, once all that mattered

It makes me think about our nation,
When I see our flag so frayed.
How soon we all forget the pain
Of that tragic September day.

So let's think about those special heroes,
Who lost their lives that day,
And honor them with fitting flags
And for the families ... Pray!

-Author Unknown


i was in the sixth grade on september 11,2001.
i had no idea about the attack until i got to school and my friend, kyle lund, told me what happened.
the rest of the day was spent watching the news.
i didn't understand much of what was going on at the time.
i thought it was all an "accident".
i couldn't wrap my head around the idea that someone would actually want to do harm to our country.

after watching basically every show possible this week about that devastating day, my heart goes out to all the victims' families and friends.
this isn't an easy day as an American, let alone someone who views this day as the anniversary of losing someone near and dear.

i'm so very grateful to live in a country that will stand united in trying times.
i'm grateful for those that serve diligently to defend this country as well.
let us never forget those that have fallen and always wave Old Glory with pride.
God bless America.

-the wife

five fab favs

five things that i am loving in my life right now:

1. frozen coconut limeade:

{picture and recipe can be found here}

it's only wednesday and i've already made 2 batches of this, this week. zachary and i love it! i make it virgin of course, by using "coco reals cream of coconut". it's like 3 bucks at walmart, but it tastes like a million dollars in your mouth. you should make some right now. do it. and love it.

2. marble wars:

{l to r: kathryn, andrew, zachary, me, nate. amber taking pic.}

i'd never even heard of this game until i met zachary's family. his brother, alex, has a friend that makes them and when we visited utah a couple weeks ago, alex surprised us and gave us one! it is seriously the funnest game ever. we had so much fun playing it last week with these guys that zachary and i sat down and played like 7 games for family home evening. it. was. awesome.

3. "dance moms"



i think this trailer put all of the drama from every episode in to one. it's really not that bad....ok, maybe it is. but who doesn't like drama? as long as i'm not a part of it, i am a-okay. anyway, aside from the yelling and crying crazy people in this show, my favorite part is watching these little girls dance. holy-freaking-cow! for the first time in my life, i can honestly say that i would love to raise a dancer. if my little girl could be half as good as these girls are, i would be proud. all of the other moms get jealous of maddie beating their girls at every competition, but seriously? don't be hatin' just cause she is good! she has some serious talent to behold.

4. cd exchanges.
a couple weeks ago, i got a fb message from my cute friend mykel beorchia, asking me to do a cd exchange with her. she had just heard anberlin's song "inevitable", loved it, and wanted it. so she gave an offer that in exchange for some anberlin music, she'd give me some of her favorites. and just like that, i had four cd's of brand new music that i absolutely love. {thanks mykel!} it got me thinking that i could really get used to this whole cd exchange thing, so if any of you are in dire need of new music, like myself, and would want to swap some tunes, feel free to hit me up!

 5. "brighter than the sun"-by colbie caillat.



doesn't this song make you want to dance and sing? i'm pretty sure it's been out for a couple of months, but i'm just now discovering it. definitely my favorite song of hers. good job colbie.

anything awesome in your life right now that you'd like to share? i'm up for suggestions!

-the wife

'the help' and the red sox.

no plans for the weekend usually means going to a movie at our lovely del rio movie theater.
even though it has a slight, musty, urine smell and the speakers work on and off, we like to catch a good show there now and again.
this was the case tonight.
i'm pretty sure we were the last ones in the country to watch "the help".
everyone and their dog has facebook and twittered about it, so we thought we'd jump on the bandwagon and see what all the hype is about.

ohemgee, i'm so glad we did.

it was the best movie i have seen in a really long time.
i was expecting it to be a little more historical/serious, but it wasn't at all!
it had me laughing my head off one minute and then trying to hold back the tears the next.
not to mention, emma stone is adorable.
i think she is in my top 10 {at least} list of girl crushes.
also, i absolutely loved their clothes!
does anyone else wish that we dressed and did our hair like they did back then?
this was one of my favorite outfits:

i love the tight waisted dress and the poofy hair.
obviously you have to have the bod to pull it off, but i feel like it just says, "i am quaint and cute."
and p.s. this girl did a really good job at being mean.
basically, if you haven't seen it yet, get on it because you will love it!

in other news, i accidentally washed some of my favorite socks with our red kitchen rug today:

the same red rug that i got after zachary for washing with all of our brand new white dish towels.
it used to drive me nuts growing up, that none of my family cared about separating colors when doing laundry.
all of my yellow clothes would turn out green after being washed with jeans and all of my camisoles would have a pink tint to them after being washed with one of the billion manti templar red t-shirts we had layin' around the house.
after making the same mistake, i guess i shouldn't have been so critical.

-the wife

fall-time.

it is now september!

do you know what this means?

cool crisp nights. {well, everywhere but del rio that is}

beautiful fall leaves.

school buses roaming around the neighborhood.
the feeling of halloween just around the corner.

i absolutely love this time of year!

i set out my new wassail scented wax melt today and boy oh boy, i wish i could

send you its fragrance through my little typing fingers.

it screams fall and has enveloped my entire house...mmm.

i think it's going to send me into an autumn coma.

here are a few other things that have gotten me into the fall-time spirit:

1. doesn't this porch look so welcoming? 

2. what adorable little pumpkins! And the best part of all, is this awesome tutorial on

how to make them yourself. i love diys.

3. an easy and very elegant centerpiece for those holiday parties coming up!

4. boots + scarves = fall for sure. this outfit is beautiful beyond words! i love the belted scarf.

5. awesome step-by-step instructions on how to make these simple, yet decorative wheat jars. all i need is a silhouette cameo to make them with and a mantle to put them on!

i think my favorite fall decoration that i have come across so far though, would have

to be this little beauty:

gorgeous eh?

i found everything to make it at joanns for just 7 bucks!

too bad we don't have a joanns nearby though, because it's an extra 6 dollars

just for shipping and handling.

curse you shipping and handling!!

i'll probably end up caving and buying it all anyway.

i think it is beautiful and sounds super easy to make.

i was also informed today, that september is national sewing month.

so, i took it upon myself to buy some cute $5 fabric at wal-mart and will be attempting

to make this incredibly awesome scarf this weekend:

it could be a superbly rewarding experience or an awful, self-esteem crushing, miserable one.

i'll be sure to let you know which path it takes.

anyway, i hope you are all just as excited about this change in seasons as i am and that you take some time to sip a hot cup of wassail and eat a slice of pumpkin pie for me!

-the wife

the proposal anniversary.

one year ago today, i said yes to the most important question of my life:

"will you marry me?"

i can remember it like it was yesterday.

zachary managed to take me by complete surprise as we sat there in that little da40 aircraft.

{for the full story, click here}

i have to commend him for that, because there are few times in my life where
i have actually been surprised.
there were so many emotions running through my head in a matter of seconds.
i wanted to jump for joy and at the same time burst in to tears.
it was such a thrill!

it's so funny to think back to that day and realize how much we really didn't know each other.

compared to now anyway.
it was a time full of superficial twitterpation.
that sounds bad, like we didn't love each other or something.
not true.
of course we loved each other or i wouldn't have said yes.
but, after feeling what i feel today, it's incredible to see how much the dynamic of our relationship has changed and turned in to something much deeper; a stronger love than i have words for.
i can't begin to tell you how much i appreciate him and care about him and i love the fact that
it only keeps getting better.
thanks for picking me, babe, and for asking me to be your wife!
i love you.

-sarah

the end of a long haul?

i have butterflies in my stomach.
all. the. time.
not because my cute husband wakes me up every morning, just to kiss me goodbye before
work. {even despite my horrid dragon breath}
not because after i get out of bed, i am sometimes welcomed to a cleaner-than-the-night-before kitchen and an unloaded dishwasher. {a very welcomed sight to see}
and not even because i am constantly being left little notes around the house telling me why he loves me more than any other human being on the planet.
while these joys of being married to my wonderful man do give me butterflies, they aren't the kind of butterflies i have been having as of late.
remember how we had a bit of a change in plans in our adventures here in del rio?
well, the review board that zachary was a part of met three weeks ago.
word on the street is, we just might be finding out the results of that meeting....tomorrow.
just typing that sends my stomach into disarray.
after waiting around for 3 and 1/2 months, it's almost like we've become numb to the fact that we have no clue where we are going to be or what we are going to be doing for the rest of our life.
i have tried over and over to picture ourselves ten years down the road.
heck, even five years down the road.
are we going to be happily settled in to a beautiful home in massachussetts?
could we possibly enjoy the luxury of moving to aviano, italy, or maybe ramstein, germany?
or could we be living in logan, utah, close to family and surrounded by familiarity?
i can hardly believe that we are this close to finding out.
we basically have two options in all of this: either they keep us in the air force, or they don't.
i haven't decided which one i would rather have.
obviously, if they kept us, we would take our next assignment and move wherever they need us.
i have absolutely loved seeing new places and meeting new people over these last several months,
so i feel like there is no loss there.
on the other hand, i would give anything to live close to our families.
we visited them last month and it makes me so sad to see how quickly our nieces and nephews
are growing up.
zachary and i have a secret plan to be the best aunt and uncle ever and that's nearly impossible
when we live 2,000 miles away.
not only that, but there's something about being with people that you know love and accept you, that makes you never want to have a reason to leave.
maybe it's a good thing that all of this is in God's hands because if it were up to me, we'd probably end up being here another year while i tried to decide which option i like more.
we definitely don't want that to happen.
i can undoubtedly say that i am so grateful for this wait to be over.
we have learned a lot and have done our best to be patient, but we are ready to know.
no matter what the outcome, we will trust that God has our best interest at heart.
thank you for all of your prayers and support.
we couldn't have done it without you.
wish us luck!

-the wife

a day in the life...

i know you really don't care, but i want to share with you a day in the life of sarah:

9-9:30-wake up.
10:00-have breakfast.
10:15-get ready, so i can look half decent for my man.
10:35-tidy up the house.
11:30-wait patiently for zachary to come home.
11:35-eat lunch, watch t.v., and get as much cuddling in with zachary as possible.
12:30-send zachary back to work.
12:35-facebook.
1:00-watch some t.v.
1:30-facebook.
2:00-stalk people's blogs.
2:40-find the cheapest way to travel to disneyland/europe/utah/any kind of vacation.
3:20-facebook.
4:00-wait patiently for zachary to come home.
and then the rest of the day/night is spent doing worthwhile things because i have a
cool husband that makes life fun again.

i mainly want to focus on the hours of 12:35-4:00, though.

can you see a trend here?

i waste so much time in a day, it should be a crime.

i'm not trying to complain because i'm pretty sure there have been multiple times in my life when i have wished for nothing more than to sit at home everyday and do nothing.

i am just getting a little burned out is all.

so, to all you wives out there, how do you do it?

how do you fill your time in a day without wanting to cry from a boredom overdose?

i would think that the obvious solution would be to get a job, but we are
moving soon, so it wouldn't really be worth it.

do you have any cool crafts that you have loved and are willing to share?

any fun hobbies that while taking up your time, don't drain the bank account?

please help a sista out!

-the wife

happy pioneer day, y'all!

to most people, today is just july 24th.

but to us mormon-folk, today is pioneer day!

this is the day that the saints entered in to the salt lake valley after the 1300 mile long journey from nauvoo, il, using nothing but covered wagon and oxen.

i imagine, they didn't have much to eat on the road.

it's not like they could stop by mcdonald's and order ten double cheeseburgers and three happy meals to feed their starving families.

in celebration of this holiday, zachary and i decided to eat how we thought they might
 have eaten back then:

porridge, hard biscuits, and dirty water.

{ok, maybe the biscuits weren't hard, but rather hot and fresh out of the oven. and that porridge you see right there, is actually cream-of-wheat, which happens to be a favorite meal here in the averett household. and the water was really red and green food coloring.}

it was kind of fun, pretending that we were living in the 'olden days' and had to fight to survive.

it got me thinking though, what if it wasn't pretend?

what if we really lived during that cold winter of 1846 and had to leave everything we had?

would we do it?

i am in awe at the great faith of those pioneers that did everything that was necessary

to keep their religion alive.

to keep my religion alive.

i can't begin to count the ways that the gospel has impacted my life or even think about

where i would be without it.

it has given me faith in trying times and hope in moments of despair.

it brings me more joy than possibly imaginable.

i couldn't be more grateful for the two mormon missionaries that knocked on

my dad's door nearly 45 years ago.

without that single event, i may not have the greatest blessing i have 

now; the true gospel of Jesus Christ.

"How can we pay our debt of gratitude for the heritage of faith demonstrated by pioneers in many lands across the earth who struggled and sacrificed so that the gospel might take root? How is thankfulness expressed for the intrepid handcart pioneers who, by their own brute strength, pulled their meager belongings in handcarts across the scorching plains and through the snows of the high mountain passes to escape persecution and find peaceful worship in these valleys? How can the debt of gratitude possibly be paid by the descendants of the Martin and the Willie and the other handcart companies for the faith of their forebears? The descendants of these pioneers can partially settle the account by being true to the cause for which their ancestors suffered so much to be part of."

-James E. Faust

i love The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and i am proud to be a member of it!

i am grateful for the pioneers that paved the way for my eternal happiness.

i am grateful to know that through the gospel of Jesus Christ, i can be with my family forever.

-the wife

Zach's Horror Show

Disclaimer: This post is not for those who have somewhere to be. I got a little carried away. You better be ready to dedicate a good portion of the next 10 minutes reading/enjoying it. Without further ado, I present Zach’s Horror Show!



Let me give a prologue… Imagine this day: Teenager. Home alone. Don’t remember why. Concerned about hygiene – I know, big surprise. So, having the freedom of being home alone in a family of 7, I proceed to walk around the house in the nude before going in the shower. I don’t even bother preparing any clothes or a towel for when I get out. Why? Because I don’t want to, and I’m free!


I hop in the shower, not so much concerned about hygiene as I am about enjoying a hot, relaxing spray.

*Intermission* Have any of you seen the movie Arachnophobia? Remember the shower scene? If you do, just keep that in mind. If you have never seen the movie, it’s a classic. Oh, and by the way, you’re uncultured.


You know that stage in the shower routine when you wash your face and your hair? Often, in my shower routine, during this stage my eyes can be closed for a good while. Well, when I opened my eyes on this particular dreadful day, during that particularly dreadful shower, what did I see dangling right in front of my face? A spider. Now, I wish I could tell you it was a big, hairy, ugly black-widow or something. That may have justified my subsequent actions. No. It was just one of those super small and super ugly, nearly see-through spiders.


Now, if any of you were in the house at that moment, you may have thought a 9 year old girl had just accidentally cut her arm off. Nope. That was me trying to scare the spider into submission with my shameful squeal. I proceeded to swipe at the dangling arachnid, all the while trying to climb/slip my way out of the shower. Out of the tub and onto the bathroom floor I continue to swat and slap every square inch of my skin as a safety precaution. After all, if there was one dangler, the chances are pretty high that there would be a thousand other spider friends all over my skin right?


Afraid that my squeal was heard by a newcomer to the house, I shamelessly run through my home making sure that nobody was present during my… episode. Only later did I remember that I was still naked.


There’s your prologue. The point is this: I’m not a bug person. There are plenty of things in my life that could prove my masculinity and MANness, but this is not one of them.


Last night’s story was similar to last decade’s story in a few aspects. Fear of bugs, check. Added shame of not being entirely clothed, check. Girly squeal, check. Anyway... back to last night... I strolled to the living room to grab my phone prior to retiring for the evening. Upon picking up my phone I decided that I was thirsty, naturally. I flip on the lights and took a few swigs of H2O from a glass. I go to slam down my cup on the counter and see the largest cockroach I have ever seen in my life. He had found his watering hole in the form of a tiny puddle of water next to the sink. He stopped -- I swear on my life he looked at me, and then he continued slurping.


A few emotions went through my head in a matter of 5.3 milliseconds. First, utter horror and fear at the sight of the abomination. Second, even more horror and fear that the thing looked at me with its nasty, glossy black eyes and looked away – like some zombie enjoying his meal and deciding to hunt me down later. Third, an unquenchable fury took over as I made the determination to put the roach in its rightful place – hell. Of course, that fury didn’t take me so far as to raise my courage all that much… I frantically look around the kitchen for a weapon. The butcher knife? Though appropriate for a zombie Apocalypse, maybe a little overkill for the roach. The cleaning spray? No, too much risk of the little sucker running away and escaping his doom. The fly-swatter? It will have to do.


As I dashed to grab the swatter my view of the devil-roach was obscured by the wall of the pantry. When I look back, the little bugger had nearly run across the entire length of the counter. In a matter of 2 seconds the thing had travelled 5 feet. Do the math. If it were the size of a human, that’s the equivalent of running 64 miles per hour! If that doesn’t strike terror in your heart… *Zach shivers at the thought* Not to mention the “rat-i-tat-tap” of each of its six, nasty little legs striking the counter at 64 miles per hour. A chainsaw running across my counter would have brought me comfort compared to that tap-dancing cockroach. Luckily, the thing stopped just as I looked at him – like some sick version of red-light-green-light (remember that game?). The red light was definitely on him as I crept toward the beastling. Down flew the fly swatter. Not so scary anymore. I won’t tell you about the stuff that came out of him. That’s just too gross to share. We’re going to try and keep this a PG post.

 You think the story is over? Do zombies die by smacking the cream cheese out of ‘em? I didn’t realize that this really was a zombie roach. I grab a paper towel to transport it to its deep, dark grave. I go to grab the thing just as the hairs on the back of my neck finally relax. I just want you to imagine for a moment the absolute, supremely genuine terror that enveloped me as I felt the little hell-bug wiggle out from between my paper-towel protected fingers. Remember the 9 year old girl who accidentally cut her arm off? This time, the squeal was short-lived. I somehow manage to have enough sense not to make too much noise – for Sarah’s sake. The rage returned as I repeatedly slammed down the fly swatter over and over and over again. My ears were ringing with the noise of cheap plastic smacking against counter-top when I finished. Last I checked, zombies don’t reanimate if their head is separated from their bodies. Safe at last.


I’d like to say I won this battle. Don’t get me wrong, the hell-bug is resting in his eternal, bottomless, infernal, garbage-can grave. However, the emotional damage it inflicted may haunt me for the rest of my life. PTSD. If you don’t know what that is, look it up. Any encouragement in the form of flowers, a friendly phone call, or money to help me cope with my condition would be appreciated. Till next time folks… lock your doors and shake out your sheets.

one very rotten apple.

remember the days when almost nobody carried a cell phone and just seeing one was a novelty?
yeah, me neither.
which is why i was pretty upset when this happened:

i drop my phone all the time.

it's been knocked off my dresser, fallen from the bathroom counter,

shoved off the kitchen table, etc.

but the moment it falls out of my hand, {less than two feet from the floor might i add}, it shatters.

at least the bloody thing still works, or you might find me sitting in a corner in the fetal position, rocking back and forth.

it's more than a pain, trying to pick out the glass slivers in my hands every time i use it.

i love apple, but this is absolutely unacceptable.

not only because phones shouldn't be made of glass in the first place, but there are so many cases exactly like this and yet the warranty doesn't cover one bit of it.

i call for a strike!

who's with me?

-the wife

our cool family.

i opened up facebook yesterday and was welcomed by this video:



these are our brothers, jeff and derek.
yes, the same derek that i referred to as "special" in my last post, to which i was reprimanded for.
he is only special in the sense that he is freaking hilarious!
i'm pretty sure he could make lord voldemort laugh.
i just wanted to let the world know how awesome our family is.
that's all.

-the wife

p.s. for 'dude that's nothin-basketball style', click here.